Thankfully we’re way cooler than the Bible, so this is just THE FINALE instead. And so, for the final time, we say (cue drumroll, Mr. Bonham): This week in Smartmouths…

• Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell is repealed! Finally! You’re welcome!

• Famed diplomat, Jedi, and American Hero Richard Holbrooke passed away. We honor his life and his death by explaining who the fuck he is.

• The Times’ Person of the Year was Mark Zuckerberg. Ten bucks says half of Facebook couldn’t even pronounce his name before Aaron Sorkin.

• Brett Favre is back in the news. Assuming you maintain a thoroughly loose definition of the word “news.”

• North Korea: The World Infant. Someone extricate the chopsticks out of Kim Jong-Il’s ass. But it’s okay, we’ll all be fine, because Elysa’s brother is going to usurp that motherfucker Mission Impossible style.

• We listen back to a few of our favorite moments, and there’s not a dry eye on the line. Just kidding! We’re not pussies.

• A final Google That Shit reveals that everyone on the internet is either having a child or having bloody shits.

• Elysa mounts her soapbox for the last time. Brace yourself. It’s full of righteous indignation, and worse— an unhealthy amount of sincerity.

• We answer a few last-minute tweets, Micah T gives it to us WTF-style (it’s kinky, don’t worry), and we plug this badass project started by some of you badass listeners: http://fuckyeahsmpodcast.tumblr.com/
  

Remember punks: we’re leaving this website, our email address and our Twitter account up and running so that we can update you on any new projects, shows, etc. So feel free to drop us a line, and make sure you’re checking your fine asses back in every now and then. You haven’t heard the last of us.

Finally, we want to thank everyone who is reading this right now. Unless you’re a troll, in which case GTFO. But really, the truth is this: there is no show without an audience. And so any parts of this you have loved, any moments that stayed with you, any lines that made you laugh– were all made possible by you and your loyal support. Similarly, you have gifted us with countless memories and the opportunity to solidify old, or build new, friendships. Thank you. And though we’ve never said it before, we’ll say it now: we love you. Fine. Fuck. Are you happy?

Hasta luega, bitches. We shall meet again.

(JEFFERSON LIVES.)

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What better way to show us how much you’ve loved listening to us for the past two years than by voting for us to win this award?

Voting opened today (December 1) and you can vote once a day until the polls close at midnight EST on December 15, 2010.

We don’t ask that you consider us a serious news source or even that you laugh at our unique brand of “comedy”. All we ask is that you show us that you’ve appreciated our wacky, off color, and sometimes ridiculous show. Go Vote.

<3

p.s., Rabbit Rabbit

Thanks Matt. Don’t quit your day job.
Here’s what really happened on this episode:

-North and South Korea. What now? And where does Sarah Palin fit in with all of this?
-WikiLeaks leaks again
-Deathly Hallows Part 1 came out. Yes, some of us reviewed it already. But some of us haven’t yet…so you’ll sit through it, listen to it, and enjoy it, dammit!
-TSA handles your baggage. And packages. Literally.
-Backwash is back and we give some podcast recommendations, answer some important questions, and generally feed our egos with some sweet good bye emails.
-Hot Seat is back!! Find out more about us as we sit in the HOTTTT SEATTTTT
-Micah gives us some wild, crazy and even some smart WTF News
-Finally we thank the folks who helped make Smart Mouths as great as it’s been…from behind the scenes.

Hey! We were nominated for a 2010 Podcast Award in the People’s Choice Category! Voting starts on December 1 and you can vote once a day!! Please do me a personal favor and vote for us. All I really want is to win this award. Thanks in advance <3

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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In this show:
-You’ll never believe where Greg and Penny are recording the show
-We talk Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Don’t worry, we hadn’t seen it yet when we recorded.
-Matt joins us to discuss about our DC weekend, the Rally, and the Smart Mouths Meetup!
-You all get to experience random conversations between Greg and Penny some of the topics: Greg’s shoes, Norman Rockwell, The Wonder Years, Emma Watson, Greg’s need for Twitter followers, the rest of Smart Mouths, and the Nissan Juke.

Note: this really is a casual episode, therefore the audio quality is a bit low in parts of it… you’ll see. No need to comment. Really.

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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In this episode:
-We discuss the Miner rescue in Chile. We have different opinions on the media and this story.
-The Giants beat the Phillies in the NLCS. Andrew renounces his hometown sports love.
-Juan Williams fired from NPR. Censorship or Necessity?
-Apple goes Back To The Mac
-Greg, Elysa, and Matt NERD OUT over The Hobbit movie
-Bullying redux in backwash, we got some amazing emails!
-Google that Shiz is back…and once again, please don’t try the gallon challenge at home. We’re serious.
-WTF News: dead bodies in cars, gators (Greg is still shaking in his boots) and Cats
-The biggest WTF news of all….

Reminder: Don’t forget about our DC Meetup this coming Saturday!

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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Hope to see you there!!

The truth: Mary Poppins isn’t an original character. In point of fact, that’s just Penny’s pseudonym, and Disney stole her story (along with my childhood) for the purposes of profit. That ridiculous fucking hat Poppins is always wearing? Hiding the yamika. And don’t tell me yamikas are for Jewish men only. That’s just sexist.

So the truth has been revealed, and you heard it here first: Penny is Mary Poppins. Much in the same way Mickey Mouse is Lucifer except moderately less homicidal. Moderately.

But I tell you this today, on the grand anniversary of P-Money’s triumphant appearance on the world stage, because it explains so much about her character and us. For if Penny is Mary Poppins, then we are the motherless delinquents she struggles so desperately to keep in line. And let’s face it. If you were charged with rehabilitating a slew of prurient and sexually-deviant children you would be a little unhinged yourself. (Yeah, FYI. That seemingly innocent flying umbrella doubles as a cane, and not the kind you walk with.)

Beyond this, however, the hidden identity also goes a long way to explaining Penny’s special brand of patience. I stipulate “special brand” because it isn’t the lackluster type of patience that allows someone to wait in long lines at theme parks. Rather it’s the type of patience that allows someone to survive the nefarious dynamics of several young adults who think “maturity” goes hand-in-hand with “hippogriff,” insofar as they’re both mythical concepts.

She is the cornerstone of this group and this show. We may still be here without her, but it would be as formless shapes and fallen bridges, because Penny is the mortar that holds everything and everyone together. This kind of sensibility and talent would be impressive enough, but what really makes her our very own Mary Poppins is the degree of good humor and charm with which she manages it. When faced with trouble, she meets it head-on, and with a smile that makes onlookers believe she could take on the world if she so chose. She’s a dependable ear, a shoulder to cry on when you weren’t even aware you needed one, and possesses the sort of personality misguided tweens everywhere could learn a lot from.

She laughs at us a lot, which makes her a bit of a bitch, but she laughs at herself even more, which makes her a bit of an anomaly. She is unmatched in kind tolerance and has more good grace in her pinky finger than the rest of us do combined. Most of us have known her for scarcely more than a year, yet all of us feel we’ve known her our whole lives. She just has some magical ability to make you feel comfortable, accepted, cared for to the point of pampering, even if you’ve known her only a short time.

The fact that she embodies all these things, but can also be fun and funny and amiable, speaks to that Disney-like quality I mentioned in the beginning. Not the part of Disney that was a mad lunatic who destroyed childhoods with his demonic playthings. But rather the part that made us all believe, despite the better part of practical judgment, that with just a little bit of sugar and the right show-tune, even the darkest of days would pass. With her charming and thoughtful nature, that is what Penny does for us. Even if she doesn’t know it.

Happy birthday, mi amor! May today be full of mirth and booze. Though mostly just the latter.

In any event, we were actually able to put out a solid show for you all and we hope you enjoy it! In this episode:

-We (sort of) announce our plans for a D.C. meetup.
-Elysa has us mesmerized with her story of meeting the OUR President, Barack Obama.
-SCOTUS back in session.
-Times Square bomb plotter gets sentenced.
-Rove attacks Obama
-Backwash addresses transcriptions, Micah solicits for another podcast, and we learn how Matt got where he is today.
-A very important unofficial Dr. Smart Mouths where we talk about bullying and suicide
-Micah’s back with the WTF News!!! YAYYYYY!

-Important links:
-The Trevor Project: A national 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth.
-It Gets Better Project

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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In this week’s show:
-Southwest and AOL make some new acquisitions.
-The Obama Administration is drafting new laws for stricter wire taps. Better watch out on Skype, folks!
-Bishop Eddie Long: is there fire where the smoke is?
-Hottest day ever in LA
-Blackberry unveils the iPad competitor: the “Playbook!” SO FUN! I want one!!
-Sad news about Segway company owner.
-Backwash addresses The Smart Mouths iPhone App, Enders Game, and Pakistan (check out listener, Maha’s cause: Hungry For Change to help relief efforts for the flooding in Pakistan)

Finally, we end the show with an amazing interview with Adam Bouska, co-founder and photographer of the NOH8 Campaign. As you’ll hear, NOH8 is an amazing campaign that is raising awareness for gay rights and equality one HOT picture at a time. Check out NOH8 at http://www.noh8campaign.com and follow them on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/noh8campaign! Thanks again to Adam for coming on our show!

*note: During the first several minutes of the interview with Adam, Skype gave us a bit of difficulty. We apologize. The rest of the interview sounds great!

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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“I think @smpodcast are traveling at warp speed and forgot the concept of time lol”

“really @smpodcast? no new episode = my week ruined. ”

“@smpodcast is there going to be a new episode… Anytime soon?”

” Any time now… don’t worry ’bout it though, i totally understand you all have lives too ”

“Your fortnightly show has become a monthly show. ”

” I’m going through @smpodcast withdrawal.”

“I’m worried.”

“You’re going to have to be in your own WTF news segment unless the next episode comes out soon (by which I mean NOW!).What gives?”

“It’s been more than 48 hours, you guys ”

“I know there are good reasons for its delay, so I’m not going to be mad at you guys, but I’m seriously jonesing for a new @smpodcast!”

“I don’t mean to sound like a whiny, complaining bitch, but have you guys died? I miss you loads ♥”

Good Day To you Sir! The above quotations are just some of the many we received via Twitter this month. First of all, we offer you our sincerest apologies. The bad news is you’ve only heard from us once this month (and only if you wanted to hear about Mockingjay). The good news is: 1)We haven’t died (yay!). 2)We now know just how much you guys all love us and we’re so touched <3! 3) If all goes well, you will have two OR maybe three new episodes to listen to within the next week. Not even kidding. Let's just say that between editing fails, holidays, school, work, life, and a bit of laziness- we have failed you this month- but plan on rectifying that in the near future. Please accept our sincerest apologies.

In the meantime- here is our first MINI-EPISODE! BT Dubs, this mini episode ain't so mini. It clocks in at just under an hour and for you app owners, there are several pieces of bonus content. In this mini episode:
-You have all been asking...and we let you know our plans for the Rally To Restore Sanity in Washington DC on October 30!
-You can hear the pre-thoughts of Penny and Elysa’s NOH8 photo-shoot. The post- thoughts can be found on youtube!
-Matt and Penny wax sarcastic about the Matty-Bobby Record Making Kiss.
-More talk (well you haven’t heard the first talk on episode 71 yet but trust us, there was talk about it) about Delaware Senate Candidate Christine O’Donnel.
-And Finally we respond to your Backwash on our Mockingjay Book Club Episode!!!

This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com. Download a free audiobook of your choice today at http://audiblepodcast.com/smartmouths

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